Counseling Provided for ICC Haiti Staff: "I'm So Blessed To Be Alive"

These are reflections from the Rev. Lynne Austin, an ICC USA board member. Click here to watch video of Lynne.

At a large gathering this morning with the staff of Grace Children's Hospital, people were invited to stand and tell their story of the day of the earthquake. They told stories of family members lost, destruction, anguish, injuries, scars and wounds. But each person began their story with praise to God that they were alive... gratitude for God who never leaves them. Applause broke out when each person came forward to talk, an acknowledgment of their courage. They spoke with gratitude to our team for coming to be with them, though we spoke little. However, we listened with hearts filled with love brought from home, from our churches and our families and neighbors. One woman talked about the dead and how we must not forget them. So we began writing down the names of people who died in the quake. But in the middle of that, another woman stood and cried out, “But we who are alive need prayer, too!” So on pieces of paper we wrote the name of each person there – there were approximately 50.

Several of the stories left us especially astounded at what they had seen, heard, smelled, witnessed, endured... and overcome by their constant statements of “Thank you, God, for my life,” “I confess, God, these things I have done wrong in my life,” and more. It was the common thread. We asked their permission to share some of their experiences with you.

One of the nurses at Grace Children’s Hospital shared that she was in church and usually sat in the same place, but decided that day to sit somewhere else. Her mother usually sat with her. The earthquake hit and the woman was covered with the collapsed building. She found a small hole and crawled out, then desperately began searching for her mother. Someone said she had been found and taken in a white car. But still she couldn't find her. The next day, she went back to the church, found its collapsed remains, crawled through an opening and found her mother. Her mother was dead, but was kneeling in prayer, and found in that place and posture by her daughter. The daughter is overcome with guilt because her mother had come from the states especially to see her. They were so close. Best friends.

Another woman, also a nurse, had gone home from work and was changing when the earthquake struck. She ran to the outside stairs only to see the stairs collapse before her. Making her way down the sight that met her was that of her two neighbors pinned under the building-- a very graphic description. She went on with more than I can describe here - wartime spectacles that boggle the mind. How does the mind sort and deal with these horrific sights? This staff member is now on the street, living among people she does not know. She has lost her closest friends and family members.

The third was a kind, gentle man who works in accounting at the hospital. He was still at work when the earthquake came, and before long he heard people at the gate of the hospital screaming and crying for medical help. He managed to get on the street and make his way home. Where was his sister? She was the one who had awakened him that morning and they were very close. She worked for Immigration and was a prized employee there. He learned she had died. He was overcome, today and all days. They looked alike, he said. She was inside of him, he said. Always. Eternally. But the sadness... it was so very strong.

At the close, we asked what message we could take home with us. “Tell them that God is taking care of us, that we are thankful to God.” “Tell them we must all learn to be better people; to be kinder, and not so filled with hate.”

I couldn't help but think these conversations would be very different at home given catastrophe. In our culture, we would be more likely to question the goodness of God, the reality of a loving God. We would ask why us? Why did this happen to us when we did nothing wrong? One of the women, before she realized she was going to stay alive, said she told God about all the things she had done wrong in her life and asked for forgiveness. We are learning a lot.

I have to say that when I started coming to Haiti, I was eager not to be too “religious” and to listen with respect to whatever beliefs I found here. I had no idea of the strength of these Haitian people. Robenson Lucceus, the PR person at Grace said he, his wife, and three children are doing well (although they have been living under a tarp since the earthquake). He says they have not been as damaged as so many others. And he says they must keep on living with gratitude and joy. They must keep on doing what is good. That struck me as a remarkable return to “normalcy.” Think about it. All over Port-au-Prince there is nothing close to “normalcy.” People are in the streets, rubble blocks roads, flattened buildings abound. I have a hard time even imagining anything close to normalcy. But joy and kindness are the normal way to feel full of life. Many of the people we are meeting are doing that. Not denying the pain at all, no. But first saying, “I am so blessed to be alive.”